fighting to remain centred....

funny how some things
play with
stir up
incite
other shit....

so being unemployed
broke
is enough to
unsettle
shackle
dismantle
one's ense of self
security
purpose

enter stage right
feelings about
your self-worth
importance
your weight
being single
being lonely
alone

intensely aware of my isolation
i struggle
to remain
grounded
centred
feel whole
sexy
signifucant
important
powerful
useful
loved

i miss
my circle of friends
who are like family
in new york
where the laughs were loud
the love was deep deep
consistent
all-encompassing
and mine

for now
i'll hold on to
memories
faith
music
words
jerking off
maybe reach out
but definitely
hold on
until
this passes....

and it will.